Into the woods
by Ulathon
Summary: The O'Reilly Gang has found a map that leads to a hidden treasure in the woods. However, the treasure is guarded by Numbuh Thirteen. What happens when an unfortunate force meets a disaster-prone object? Read and find out. Oh, and there's some surprising romance as well.
1. Chapter 1

~Chapter 1~

The burning SCAMPER came screaming out of the Antarctican sky, the light from its dying engines coloring the rocky snowfield under it red as blood. It hit the ground at an angle and plowed a 50 yard furrow in the ice, hurling debris in all directions before coming to a halt.

A short moment everything was quiet.

Then came an angry Irish bellow, followed by a painful-sounding "THUMP"!

XXX

"Yipper cards, guys. Three thousand rare, unmarked, never-played Yipper Cards, that no one will miss, just there for the taking."

Egbert O'Reilly smiled at the stunned faces of Barry and Kyle in the golden light that filtered through the dirty windows in the gang's lair.

"Holy cow. Just lying around in the woods at Camp Gribwald?"

"Precisely. Here, look at this."

Egbert took off his blue baseball cap and pulled out the folded paper he had kept hidden there during detention and flattened it between the soda bottles on the table.

"You know what this is?"

"It looks like … a floor plan?"

"That's right, Kyle. But not any floor plan. This is the floor plan of the old, abandoned treehouse of Sector M in the forest around Camp Gribwald. You see that room, marked with an X?"

"Yeah."

"Just before the treehouse was abandoned, Sector M busted an illegal Yipper card ring. They put the confiscated cards in that room – and then forgot about them. Nobody has picked them up. I thought that might be a nice little side trip, when we are going to Camp Gribwald tomorrow. "

"Holy cow!" Barry started to laugh. "Three thousand Yipper cards. Do you KNOW how much the nerd clans will pay for three thousand Yipper cards!? We'll be SWIMMING in candy. You're BRILLIANT, Eggy."

"And … you're sure the map is real, Eggy?"

Egbert's smile disappeared, and Kyle shrunk back a bit, but persisted.

"I mean … three thousand Yipper cards? Why would they just leave them like that. It doesn't make sense?"

"Puh - lease, Kyle. Jim McDonald snatched this map from his brother's room. I bought it from him in detention. It cost me FIVE Jawbreakers, you know."

"Yeah," Barry said, "Jim's brother is a KND operative – that's legit. Come on, Kyle, Eggy don't buy fake maps. He's BRILLIANT, remember?"

"Well … all right, then."

"Good," Egbert said, a bit brusquely. "Now, let's get packing. We'll need some tools to get into the treehouse – crowbar, lockpicks, screwdrivers, you know the drill. Let's get to work." His good mood returning, he favored his underlings with a satisfied smile. "Tomorrow, guys, we're gonna be rich!"

XXX

Numbuh 86 was pacing back and forth in Numbuh 5's office on KND Moonbase, as angry as the Soopreme Leader had ever seen her. The air around her was practically simmering.

"So", she snarled between clenched teeth, "I get word that Former Numbuh 12 has been spotted in Antarctica. I throw the entire Decommisioning Squad into a SCAMPER and fly down there. Turn out that the only operative I find there is Numbuh 13 who insist on coming along, because he knows where she is. I don't have time to argue, we take off and FIVE MINUTES later he stumbles and presses the "Blow up the engines" button. Numbuh 44 and 44 just manage to get us down safely – and then the dweeb tells me THAT IT WOULD BE BETTER IF HE TOOK OVER THE MISSION! GAAAH!" 86 slammed her fist against the wall of the office with a tremendously loud thump.

"Yes, well, he got better," Numbuh 5 sighed. "He's just filed a complaint against you for hitting a guy with glasses."

"HE CAN KISS MY PALE, IRISH –"

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT", Numbuh 5 shouted. Why did people insist on saying things she could never unhear?

"WHY don't I just DECOMMISION him, Soopreme Leader", 86 pleaded. "That stupid boy is a walking disaster area. There are adult villains out there who do less damage to the KND, and that's not even counting the Toilenator! PLEASE, let me decommission him. I'm begging you."

Numbuh 5 took off her cool shades and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "It ain't that simple, Numbuh 86," she sighed. "He is, as you say, a walking disaster area. And that is why we can't let him go. As long as he is a KND operative, I can place him where he does not do any harm … most of the time. If he is allowed to run free, there's no telling what he'll mess up … and when it'll hit us."

"Well, can't you place him somewhere else, then?" 86 said. "Me and the Decomissioning Squad are turning Antarctica upside down, looking for Numbuh 12 this weekend and I don't even want to be on the same CONTINENT as that stupid boy!"

"Numbuh 5 hears you, 86", the Soopreme Leader said. She got up and went over to the large map on the wall, where all the Kids Next Door activities and bases were marked. She thought for a moment. "I can send him up and guard Sector M's abandoned treehouse in the Gribwald Forest. He's not gonna disturb anyone there."

"Gribwald … Isn't that the treehouse Sector M stuffed so full of booby-traps, that they finally couldn't remember where they all were and had to leave?"

"…No, 86 – that's just a rumor."

"Pity."

* * *

_Well, the Gang is back - and this time up against Numbuh 13 and his unlimited capacity for disaster. Who will prevail? And of course there are the Booby - traps ..._

_As always, comments and reviews are very welcome - also on language and style._


	2. Chapter 2

~Chapter 2~

_Numbuh Thirteen's personal log, Saturday, 12.22 A.M._

_Finally the new Soopreme Leader has realized my true potential. I have been assigned a very secret and important mission to guard the old treehouse of Sector M in Gribwald Forest._

_I have just been dropped off at the treehouse. I still don't understand why I had to stay in a locked box the entire trip, but probably the Soopreme Leader wants to keep it extra secret that it's the KNDs top operative that have been assigned to the task._

_I have just left the box, after I heard the other operatives unlock the box, run away and take off, and I am now standing in the old hangar. _

_There's an old-design, partly disassembled SCAMPER at the back, and some garbage and a few oil drums along the walls, but otherwise everything seems to have been removed when Sector M left. There's a back entrance in one side of the hangar, and a door leading into the treehouse itself in the other. _

_It's a good thing Numbuh 5 has assigned her toughest operative to this task. I'm NOT scared at all the stories about this treehouse and why it was abandoned…like the one about the operative who fell through a forgotten trap door and was never found… but can still be heard scratching the walls and crying- or the experiment to create a race of super-hamsters that went horribly wrong…or that the whole thing is so full of booby-traps that no one who enters ever comes out again…_

_It sure is quiet here…_

_Maybe I'll start with a quick inspection of the perimeters. Yeah!_

_Numbuh Thirteen off._

XXX

"Wow," Barry gasped.

"I didn't know there could be so many trees in one place," Kyle said.

The O'Reilly had just gotten off the bus together with their classmates in front of Camp Gribwald and was staring, awestruck at the pine-clad mountainsides that seemed to be continuing forever in all directions. The very air itself seemed to be vaster and grander than back at Gallagher Elementary.

Camp Gribwald was a bunch of brown tree barracks next to a grassy field and a large teepee, complete with two totem poles. The grassy field ended at the bank of a river bend, where a small beach was just inviting kids to go for a swim.

If they didn't have bigger fish to fry, that is.

"I can't see a treehouse anywhere, Eggy" Kyle said nervously. "Do you think we can even find it?"

"Sure we can, Kyle. According to Jim, if we go a little bit into the forest to the east of the camp – that's over there", he pointed, "there's a small footpad, that lead directly to a side entrance to the abandoned treehouse. Let's get to work," He took a step forward.

Then a shadow fell over the gang. "Hello, friends," a cheerful voice chirped.

A tall, tanned blonde woman was standing in front of them. She was wearing a brown shirt and shorts and a benevolent and eager smile. She had the air of someone who has spent every day since she was five years old climbing trees, making beautiful things of birch wood, singing with birds, dancing with wolves and hugging bears and listening to the wisdom of wizened old natives. And who firmly believed that the world would be a better place if everybody were just like her.

She was trouble.

"I'm Miss Green, your camp counselor. Come with me so we can drop your stuff off in the sleeping barrack, we're having the welcoming ceremony in ten minutes."

"Sure, ma'am. We just – want to take a first look at the woods." Egbert improvised.

"Oh, there'll be plenty of time for that later. The welcoming ceremony is IMPORTANT. It's an ancient Native American custom that shakes people together so everybody can be friends. Come on, guys."

And then she ushered the gang towards the entrance to the camp, in a manner that, while friendly, natural and inclusive, brokered no argument whatsoever.

XXX

_Numbuh Thirteen's personal log, Saturday 2:34 PM_

_It was a good thing I was assigned this task, because clearly something sinister is afoot. While I was inspecting the perimeters of Sector M's old treehouse I let the treehouse out of my sight for a few minutes, and the next moment it was completely gone and the entire landscape had changed._

_I have now been searching for the treehouse for two hours and have found nothing, so it is clear that some very clever adult villains are behind this. I should report this development to headquarters, but my communicator got wet when I fell into a stream, and can now only say phbpyhpppssss._

_My plan is now to relocate to Camp Gribwald two miles away and borrow a phone there._

_Numbuh Thirteen out._


	3. Chapter 3

~Chapter 3~

"Man, this is hopeless," Barry sighed.

The O'Reilly gang was gathered over dinner in the camp mess hall, picking at some beef stew, that, for obscure adult reasons had cinnamon sticks in it. Their mood was glum.

All day they had tried to sneak away from the Camp to go hunt for the treehouse and the treasure and all their attempts had failed. Ms Green's long happy life in nature had apparently given her eyes like a hawk and a powerful sixth sense for boy sneakiness.

Whenever the gang tried to sneak away, while she was busy, she seemed to materialize out of thin air in front of them, ushering them back to wood-cutting or corn-gritting or whatever. Whenever one of the gang had asked to be excused, she had immediately engaged two of the others in some activity, keeping them there until the third member couldn't pull the bathroom visit any longer.

Finally, in desperation, Barry had tried to fake a sprained ankle, and asked in a weak voice if Eggy and Kyle could help him back to the camp. Ms. Green had felt his ankle a bit, declared that it was "fine, just a bit sore" and pulled out a jar with some weird herbal ointment she had smeared on his ankle, before tying some gauze around it. She claimed that the Cherokee swore to it, and indeed Barry had had a few choice words to say about the foul-smelling concoction as soon as Ms. Green was out of earshot.

In short, the obstacles between the O'Reilly Gang and the three thousand forgotten Yipper cards in Sector M's old treehouse, had grown to tremendous proportions over the afternoon. And the evening until bedtime would be occupied with Indian legends and stories in the big teepee by the river. The big teepee with only one, closely guarded exit.

"So, Eggy," Barry asked, "You got a plan."

Egbert didn't answer. He was staring down on his untouched beef stew as if it had personally offended him. Barry and Kyle send each other a worried look. When Egbert was in that mood, bad stuff tended to happen.

XXX

_Numbuh Thirteen's log, Saturday, 6:15 PM_

_The KND "Find your way" department is as incompetent as ever. They said that Camp Gribwald was only two miles away from the treehouse, and now I have been walking for four hours and passed the same rock three times and still the camp is not in sight. Boy, those guys are going to get yelled at when I get back._

_The terrain is extremely hostile, I have fallen into four brooks, torn my wrist on some brambles and been severely bitten by an ant. Fortunately, I am an expert survivalist, so I will now eat my emergency candy bar and then build a shelter, where I can spend the night._

_Numbuh thirteen out._

* * *

_A bit shorter than my usual updates, but this is also more of a leadover to the more action packed parts of the story._

_I hope to be able to update more frequently in the future._

_As always, all comments and reviews are welcome_

_Best wishes_

_Ulathon_

_Update: I made a small change in that now Barry is the one woh fakes a sprained ankle instead of Eggy - this solves a problem later in the story._


End file.
